Is she crazy or I am crazy?
I don’t understand how things managed to turn so bad so fast.
So, I was messaged a few weeks ago by a girl on a dating site (yes, girls messaging guys do exist!). She’s 22 (I’m 29), stunningly beautiful, incredibly smart, and awesomely awesome. We met a first time last week for drinks, and then went for a walk in the city. Through a private joke we had in our messages, I say that in some hypothetical situation, I would have had to kiss her; she proceeds to make this quite absurd situation real, and we kiss. I invite her at my place, she refuses, so I just walk her back to her place (it turns out we live two blocks from each other) while holding hands and teasing her about her principles.
During the next days, we text quite a bit. Sometimes I initiate a conversation, sometimes she does. We plan a second date, dinner at my place. Our texts are quite playful and teasing, or at least I think they are (Danish is not my native language). For example, she ask if I would walk her back home after, because she doesn’t want to drive for just two blocks, but she doesn’t want to be alone in the streets at night either. I reply, “sure, and if we, somehow, end up being too tired due to other… activities, I’ll even drive you back”. She replies with a smiley.
Now, date night. Within ten minutes of her arriving, she kisses me and we end up making out on my bed. I try to unhook her bra a few times, but she says “wait, not yet”. After maybe 40 or 50 minutes, as we are laying side by side on my bed, I don’t really know what to do anymore. Obviously, she doesn’t want to go further. I thought she would want to leave now, but I still offer her a drink. It turns out she still wants to have dinner. Oh well, great! We have dinner, during which I revert to completely friendly and innocuous conversation about my childhood, my country, the books I like, and asking questions about the same for her. After maybe two hours, we’re still eating, I even have food on my fork about to travel to my mouth, when she grabs my arm, says “I’m not hungry anymore” (she had ask “are we done eating?” 10 minutes before that, now that I think about it), and drags me to the bedroom. She removes my shirt and I remove hers, and is furiously making out. This time, she ends up keeping just her panties, while I keep my whole pants.
Apparently, my caresses are having quite an effect on her, and I’m pretty sure she’s currently having an orgasm. Or several. She says things like “get on top of me”, but I’m still unsure about the whole thing. I put her on top of me and I say “hey, you’re on top, now you are in charge”. She rolls on the bed to be under me again, and I ask “but you haven’t told me what you want to do”. When I try to tease her about putting my hand in her panties (not actually putting it, just sliding my hand on her body toward this direction, turning around it a little, going away again, and so on), she again says “not yet”. This lasts for maybe a good hour.
Suddenly, she whispers “stop, no, stop”, but as I’m not really paying attention, she says loudly “stop, STOP, I’m serious, stop”. You can guess how confused I am. She says “I want to go now”, but I’ll admit I’m still feeling playful and I hide her dress under the bed. She’s not amused by this, and neither by my cute sad face. Cue embarrassed silence as she put back her clothes. She was about to leave without even saying goodbye, but I said “wait, you walked there, right? I walk back with you.” It was midnight.
On the walk back, we get to talk. She admits to never having had a serious relationship. She only had sex with two guys before, and I understand that both of them dumped her soon after (she says she only had sex 5 times in total). I assured her it would not be the case with me, and that I’m not a sex god either, and that usually the women I had sex with turned into long term relationship. She also says that she is attracted to me, but that she got really afraid at some point, and that she was about to kick me in the balls. That’s some pretty heavy stuff to say, and I apologise, say I’m sorry, ask her to please pardon me, and basically use all the ways I know to express this sentiment in Danish.
As we arrive to her building, we kiss again, a small light kiss. We wish each other a good night, and I say “you do know that I do want to see you again.”
I text her when I’m back home, some joke about how I forgot to feed my cat after dinner, that he’s very unhappy about this, and that I must have been somehow distracted by something. I also say I had a really great evening. She replies the following morning, comments on the joke, thanks me for the dinner, and apologizes for not offering to help me clean up. I reply in the afternoon to not worry about it, I have a dishwasher you see, but that I felt a bit hurt by the way she almost left without saying a word. I add that that I’m glad we got to talk on the way back. I finish my text by what I thought was a romantic and funny tease: “now my only problem is that my bed smells like you, and that I constantly want to see you and feel you and touch you and lick you [there was much licking of breasts and fingers the night before] and, when you’re ready, et cetera.”
She replies a few hours later “what happened last night and your text today make me feel really uncomfortable and I do not feel safe with you anymore. It’s best we do not see each other again.”
WHAT??? I think about it for a few hours, and send a heartfelt, absolutely-no-joke (and it’s hard for me), 1500-character text saying that if that’s really what she wants, so be it; that I won’t contact her anymore before she replies to this text, whether she does so now, next week, or never; but that I think it’s all a big misunderstanding. I say we should discuss this in person, but public place, daytime, no alcohol and no going to anyone’s place afterwards. No reply so far.
So, what do you think? How could the situation turn so weird so fast? Am I the crazy guy?
So, I was messaged a few weeks ago by a girl on a dating site (yes, girls messaging guys do exist!). She’s 22 (I’m 29), stunningly beautiful, incredibly smart, and awesomely awesome. We met a first time last week for drinks, and then went for a walk in the city. Through a private joke we had in our messages, I say that in some hypothetical situation, I would have had to kiss her; she proceeds to make this quite absurd situation real, and we kiss. I invite her at my place, she refuses, so I just walk her back to her place (it turns out we live two blocks from each other) while holding hands and teasing her about her principles.
During the next days, we text quite a bit. Sometimes I initiate a conversation, sometimes she does. We plan a second date, dinner at my place. Our texts are quite playful and teasing, or at least I think they are (Danish is not my native language). For example, she ask if I would walk her back home after, because she doesn’t want to drive for just two blocks, but she doesn’t want to be alone in the streets at night either. I reply, “sure, and if we, somehow, end up being too tired due to other… activities, I’ll even drive you back”. She replies with a smiley.
Now, date night. Within ten minutes of her arriving, she kisses me and we end up making out on my bed. I try to unhook her bra a few times, but she says “wait, not yet”. After maybe 40 or 50 minutes, as we are laying side by side on my bed, I don’t really know what to do anymore. Obviously, she doesn’t want to go further. I thought she would want to leave now, but I still offer her a drink. It turns out she still wants to have dinner. Oh well, great! We have dinner, during which I revert to completely friendly and innocuous conversation about my childhood, my country, the books I like, and asking questions about the same for her. After maybe two hours, we’re still eating, I even have food on my fork about to travel to my mouth, when she grabs my arm, says “I’m not hungry anymore” (she had ask “are we done eating?” 10 minutes before that, now that I think about it), and drags me to the bedroom. She removes my shirt and I remove hers, and is furiously making out. This time, she ends up keeping just her panties, while I keep my whole pants.
Apparently, my caresses are having quite an effect on her, and I’m pretty sure she’s currently having an orgasm. Or several. She says things like “get on top of me”, but I’m still unsure about the whole thing. I put her on top of me and I say “hey, you’re on top, now you are in charge”. She rolls on the bed to be under me again, and I ask “but you haven’t told me what you want to do”. When I try to tease her about putting my hand in her panties (not actually putting it, just sliding my hand on her body toward this direction, turning around it a little, going away again, and so on), she again says “not yet”. This lasts for maybe a good hour.
Suddenly, she whispers “stop, no, stop”, but as I’m not really paying attention, she says loudly “stop, STOP, I’m serious, stop”. You can guess how confused I am. She says “I want to go now”, but I’ll admit I’m still feeling playful and I hide her dress under the bed. She’s not amused by this, and neither by my cute sad face. Cue embarrassed silence as she put back her clothes. She was about to leave without even saying goodbye, but I said “wait, you walked there, right? I walk back with you.” It was midnight.
On the walk back, we get to talk. She admits to never having had a serious relationship. She only had sex with two guys before, and I understand that both of them dumped her soon after (she says she only had sex 5 times in total). I assured her it would not be the case with me, and that I’m not a sex god either, and that usually the women I had sex with turned into long term relationship. She also says that she is attracted to me, but that she got really afraid at some point, and that she was about to kick me in the balls. That’s some pretty heavy stuff to say, and I apologise, say I’m sorry, ask her to please pardon me, and basically use all the ways I know to express this sentiment in Danish.
As we arrive to her building, we kiss again, a small light kiss. We wish each other a good night, and I say “you do know that I do want to see you again.”
I text her when I’m back home, some joke about how I forgot to feed my cat after dinner, that he’s very unhappy about this, and that I must have been somehow distracted by something. I also say I had a really great evening. She replies the following morning, comments on the joke, thanks me for the dinner, and apologizes for not offering to help me clean up. I reply in the afternoon to not worry about it, I have a dishwasher you see, but that I felt a bit hurt by the way she almost left without saying a word. I add that that I’m glad we got to talk on the way back. I finish my text by what I thought was a romantic and funny tease: “now my only problem is that my bed smells like you, and that I constantly want to see you and feel you and touch you and lick you [there was much licking of breasts and fingers the night before] and, when you’re ready, et cetera.”
She replies a few hours later “what happened last night and your text today make me feel really uncomfortable and I do not feel safe with you anymore. It’s best we do not see each other again.”
WHAT??? I think about it for a few hours, and send a heartfelt, absolutely-no-joke (and it’s hard for me), 1500-character text saying that if that’s really what she wants, so be it; that I won’t contact her anymore before she replies to this text, whether she does so now, next week, or never; but that I think it’s all a big misunderstanding. I say we should discuss this in person, but public place, daytime, no alcohol and no going to anyone’s place afterwards. No reply so far.
So, what do you think? How could the situation turn so weird so fast? Am I the crazy guy?