The girl i used to be

You keep on asking me - babe are you all right? Are you mad?
the answer is the same every time - no I’m not, I’m desperate! I’m sad!
I know you think I’m weird - you don’t understand!
Neither do I - but I feel alone - I feel like I’m stuck all by myself on a deserted island.
And I cry whenever I’m by myself, I cry I cry I cry
I wish I could tell you babe - tell you what is wrong.
But I don’t really know - I can’t put it into words
I can’t tell you what is wrong - even though this has lasted for so long.
I don’t know if I can keep on fighting - fighting this inner demon that tries to make me look bad
this inner demon - that I really can’t control
I’m scared that you’ll find out what kind of person I really am
I’m scared that you’ll see all the things that is wrong with me
because way to many people have hurt me in the past
they’ve been judging me too fast
they have laughed of all the things I hate ‘bout myself - it makes me insane
I want to forget, and move on and please let me be happy again
I want to tell you what is wrong, so I can trust you
so I can feel safe in your arms, so that I would know
that you loves me for who I am, and not for who you think or hope I am.
I miss being myself, I miss being the girl I used to be
an always smiling - laughing happy girl
now I know what to do - tell you everything
it has been locked in my heart for too long - but finally I found the key.
This key is gonna open loads of doors that I’ve kept closed for years - trying to hide
I need them open in order to become the girl I used to be,
this is gonna be a tough battle - but it is one I’m prepared to fight.