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There are those about the village idiot:
A tourist asks
- Can you tell the quickest way to town please?
-Are you walking or driving?
- Driving.
- That IS the quickest way!
..................................
Three people had arranged marriages
One said :"I have luck, my wife is very good at everything".
The second said :"I am miserable mine is awful"
The third one (the idiot) keeps quiet, so they ask him:
How about you?
He said :"I don't really know. some people tell me she is very good, others say she is lousy!".
...........................................
Shortage of money is always a joke.
A man asks a shop assistant :"how much is that suit?".
- " LE 300, sir and we give a shirt free with it"
- "In this case can I buy the shirt only please?!"
.............................................
One poor man to another:
-"Do you have any skills?"
-"Of course I have. I once sold furniture. The trouble is, it was my own".
.......................................
Other jokes relate to witty replies:
A man asks his grandmother:
- Would you rather have some jelly and ice cream, or get married?
She replies: "I haven't really got the teeth for jelly and ice cream!".
A man walked into a supermarket and demanded half a head of lettuce. A boy working there told him that he has to buy the whole lettuce, but the man insists on half a lettuce. The boy went to the manager at the back of the shop and said
- A stupid man out there wants half a lettuce.. then realizing that the man is right behind him, added :..
"and this gentleman here wants to buy the other half!.
Other jokes:
- A man who sells kebab got married. On his wedding night he found his bed sprinkled with parsley!
- One kid to another :"Everybody stands up for my father at work".
- What does your father do?
- He is a judge.
- So what. People bow their heads to my dad at work, including your dad!
- Wow, what does he do?
- He is a barber.
and finally, a boy was much in love with a girl who worked as a nurse. He could not help but go to the hospital to see her. He met the matron and asked her:
- May I see nurse Samira please?
- And who are you?
- I am her brother.
- I am very pleased to meet you. I am her MOTHER!
A tourist asks
- Can you tell the quickest way to town please?
-Are you walking or driving?
- Driving.
- That IS the quickest way!
..................................
Three people had arranged marriages
One said :"I have luck, my wife is very good at everything".
The second said :"I am miserable mine is awful"
The third one (the idiot) keeps quiet, so they ask him:
How about you?
He said :"I don't really know. some people tell me she is very good, others say she is lousy!".
...........................................
Shortage of money is always a joke.
A man asks a shop assistant :"how much is that suit?".
- " LE 300, sir and we give a shirt free with it"
- "In this case can I buy the shirt only please?!"
.............................................
One poor man to another:
-"Do you have any skills?"
-"Of course I have. I once sold furniture. The trouble is, it was my own".
.......................................
Other jokes relate to witty replies:
A man asks his grandmother:
- Would you rather have some jelly and ice cream, or get married?
She replies: "I haven't really got the teeth for jelly and ice cream!".
A man walked into a supermarket and demanded half a head of lettuce. A boy working there told him that he has to buy the whole lettuce, but the man insists on half a lettuce. The boy went to the manager at the back of the shop and said
- A stupid man out there wants half a lettuce.. then realizing that the man is right behind him, added :..
"and this gentleman here wants to buy the other half!.
Other jokes:
- A man who sells kebab got married. On his wedding night he found his bed sprinkled with parsley!
- One kid to another :"Everybody stands up for my father at work".
- What does your father do?
- He is a judge.
- So what. People bow their heads to my dad at work, including your dad!
- Wow, what does he do?
- He is a barber.
and finally, a boy was much in love with a girl who worked as a nurse. He could not help but go to the hospital to see her. He met the matron and asked her:
- May I see nurse Samira please?
- And who are you?
- I am her brother.
- I am very pleased to meet you. I am her MOTHER!